Good Night Read online

  “She was. She and Prince Altairn.” Mema gave nothing of her feelings away.

  “I’d enjoy more conversation with them.” Her tone became softer, silky.

  And so Kovis and I took our places at Mema’s left. My stomach knotted itself.

  “Aunt Dite, thank you for coming,” I said as a steward placed our first course, grilled salamander, before me. I put on my best smile, despite wanting to slap her. We needed her help.

  “Thea, you told me Alissandra has quite the tale of love and loss to tell.” She brought a hand up, rested her chin on the back of her wrist, then wrinkled up her nose as if I was the cutest little thing. “I just love stories like that.”

  I looked to Mema. No doubt she’d told Dite that to garner her interest. “I suppose you could call it that.” During the next two courses, I told the goddess about how I’d been privileged to be assigned Kovis as my dream charge, about my love for him growing as he grew. I hadn’t intended to make her cry, I’d just been recounting things as I saw them, but she wiped tears from her eyes as I told her about my decision to leave my family and go to him when Father threatened me.

  She drew a hand to her chest. “Thea, you’re so right. That is a such a touching tale.” She oozed emotion. “It’s so honest and authentic and more beautiful than anything I’ve heard in ages.”

  She was laying it on thick, but I didn’t sense guile in her. No, she really was this crazy about love.

  She continued, “Alissandra, you could have held back your feelings, but you didn’t. You honor me by opening up and being so vulnerable with me.” She drew in a breath. “You allowed me to see as you see. You are a rare gem if ever I’ve seen one.” She sighed contentedly.

  I was glad she liked my story, but would she help us? Kovis squeezed my hand under the table. I opened my mouth to ask her just that when Crewe, one of the stewards, interrupted.

  “I hope you have been enjoying the meal so far, Goddess.” He placed our main entrée before her, and she schooled her glazed expression into one more fitting for talk about the meal.

  I liked the steward, I really did, but I wanted to strangle him. He’d shattered the mood into a million unrecognizable pieces.

  “The cook knows you enjoy things that are out of the ordinary. This is fillet of scrofa. It is a venomous fish that he has taken great care to ensure is no longer harmful.”

  Dite lit up. “Why thank you.”

  As if taking his que, he continued, “It is prepared with a Salmoriglio sauce. Please enjoy.”

  I forced a smile as the steward placed my entrée before me. “So Aunt Dite—”

  “Oh, this is lovely. Don’t you think it’s lovely?” Dite took another bite, savoring the flavor.

  Mema managed, “It is flavorful.”

  Kovis ping-ponged looks between me and Dite.

  Dite finished her fish and, at length, wiped her mouth with her napkin. “I want to help you.”

  I wanted to exhale with relief, but I knew her cooperation would never come this easily. I braced instead.

  “You need me to speak to Daddy about your father. Have him scold him or some such thing?”

  “Scolding will never stop him, even if its Dyeus who does it. If my father isn’t stopped for good—” I debated quickly before continuing, but selected my words carefully. “—the human affairs you love to encourage will be a thing of the past.” My words were an ultimatum of sorts.

  The goddess frowned.

  Mema coughed. I didn’t care. Aunt Dite had to do this for us.

  “Then what are you proposing?” she asked.

  Despite what Father had done, I still felt conflicted, for I held a measure of love for him. My mind wanted to replay my childhood with all the fun we’d had, but I halted it. Wake was at stake.

  My stomach clenched. I’d known, despite not wanting to think of it, stopping Father would require physical restraint. I’d refused to think of any specific constraint, but I knew I would need to suggest one if we were to have a chance. I did a quick inventory and resisted all the options then took a deep breath. I needed to do this.

  “We need Dyeus to bind him…”

  Dite flicked her brows at that. I resisted the urge to fidget. Clearly, she had quite a different picture than what I intended.

  I pressed on. “Like he did Prometheus or something like that, only that will prevent him from ever taking over another land.”

  “Must your father’s liver be eaten by a bird? It’s so uncivilized.”

  I scrunched my face. I wanted to scream my horror, but I didn’t. Despite what he’d done to me on more than one occasion, I needed Father bound, not tortured. “No. We just need him stopped.” I waved a hand. “Perhaps what your father did to Atlas.”

  Mema looked frozen, but she didn’t argue. It was her son I spoke of. I wondered if she’d known what I would propose.

  Aunt Dite sat back and crossed her arms. “That is a tall order, I must say.” She looked to be considering all she would need to do to accomplish such a feat. But as dessert was served, golden apple dumplings, a twinkle lit up her eyes.

  An empty feeling filled the pit of my stomach as she turned her attention to Kovis. “Based upon all Alissandra has told me about you, I can tell you’re a man who knows how to have fun and goes after what he wants.”

  She described anyone but Kovis. She was imposing her views of gods only knew who—her last paramour?—on him. I feared where this might lead.

  Kovis cleared his throat and forced a smile. “Thank you?”

  I peeked through our bond and heard only thoughts of loathing. It sure didn’t show on his face.

  Her tone turned silky as she added, “I go after what I want too.”

  Kovis sat up straight. “And what is that?”

  She smiled.

  Please no. Please no. Please no.

  “I want…” She took to circling the air with her pointer finger before leveling it on him. “…you.”

  Mema coughed.

  A utensil dropped further down the table.

  Kovis wiped his mouth, leaned back, and grinned as he slowly placed his napkin beside his plate.

  I went back to our bond to see what was swirling through his mind, but he’d blocked me. I frowned. What had his loathing thoughts meant?

  Trust me, Ali. Three little words. It was all he sent before resealing our connection.

  “Prince Altairn, you fascinate me. I've had relations with many males in my time, god, human, some between, but never have I encountered a man who has been remade. I want you.”

  I felt as powerless as I did under Father’s claws. Kovis and I were together. I wore his ring. Did that mean nothing?

  Kovis’s tone became deeper and richer as he said, “If I agree…” He paused, letting the words linger.

  He couldn’t be considering this. But he was.

  “…will you promise…” Another pause.

  He was bargaining with Dite. Had he forgotten his own words from earlier? She was a damn goddess.

  “…to get your father’s commitment to bind Ambien?” It came out a purr.

  I was ready to roar.

  Dite giggled then batted her lashes. “I can’t promise he’ll agree.”

  What? She wasn’t giving any assurances. Say no. Please say no, I begged, despite knowing he still blocked me.

  Kovis brought a hand to his chin. “Then it seems we have no deal.” He rustled his wings.

  I nearly yelled at him to stop encouraging her.

  Dite tittered then ran her tongue across her upper lip. “I do love a challenge. Especially from a human.”

  Kovis just smiled at her, seemingly enjoying the game just as much.

  I clutched the edge of the table. I was ready to dig my nails into his leg.

  “Show me your wings,” Dite said, mischief dancing in her eyes.

  She’d accepted his decline? She hadn’t been kidding. She wanted him. I stopped breathing.

  Mema stared at her untouched dessert wit
h horror-filled eyes.

  Kovis never dropped his gaze as he pushed back ever so slowly and rose. It seemed as if he was asking her to look him over, thoroughly.

  I wanted to trip him as he stepped around his chair, but I refrained.

  He spread his legs shoulder-width apart then placed his hands on his hips and paused, smiling at her. Then with one thrust, he unfurled his wings fully, completely. Every beautiful fingerbreadth of them. Every amazing feather. He put it all on display for everyone to see.

  Yelps rose from my sisters. Mema brought a hand to her brow and closed her eyes.

  I squirmed. You’re not a toy for her to play with!

  Dite’s brows rose, along with the longing in her eyes as she ran her gaze across the breadth of them.

  Kovis, stop. Please.

  “The transition was generous with you. I trust it helped you… in other ways as well.”

  “You may never know.” Kovis flicked his brows.

  Still smiling, Dite said, “Perhaps I can persuade Daddy to bind Ambien.”

  “Where and when would you like your dessert?” Kovis asked in a smoky voice, rustling his wings.

  Another yip from my sisters.

  I wanted to cry. This couldn’t be happening.

  “That apple was a fitting prelude, but I’m ready for a real treat,” Dite purred.

  I’d never stood up to a goddess before, but I’d never forgive myself if I didn’t do something. I sprang up, “Stop! Aunt Dite, you can’t do this. He’s my intended.” I struggled to leash the growl that begged for release.

  Mema looked like she’d suffered a heart attack.

  Dite’s gaze brushed me, and she scowled. “Dear child, that fact is precisely why I will do this.”

  Gasps rose throughout the room.

  Trust me, Ali. It was all he said again as Dite left the room on his arm.

  Oh gods, oh gods, oh gods. I knew him, he’d do about anything to save his brother, but would he sacrifice his very body, and in this way, to rescue him? The thought raged through my panic, but my gut knew the truth. He would.

  I knew he wasn’t telling me he no longer loved me… This wasn’t about “us.” I forced my mind to repeat the words, over and over and over again.

  His darkness would be raging within him the whole time. He’d hate himself at the end. I kept rationalizing it, telling myself this and more despite knowing he’d still do it.

  He and his siblings had endured far worse than this. I didn’t know where he drew the line, but this wasn’t it.

  Every fiber of my being tingled as I walked with Dite on my arm. While part of it was from the goddess’s presence, my body reacted viscerally to what I planned to do. I’d barely tamped down my horror and revulsion as I seduced the female. After all I’d been through, sharing… intimacy with this sex-crazed goddess was the last thing I wanted. It felt like a betrayal of my love for Ali. Damn strategy, I was so anxious to save Kennan that when I’d spotted an opportunity to act, I’d seized it before reason could catch up. And one did not go back on their word, not to a goddess.

  Ali had paved the way, and the goddess had behaved as I’d expected based upon the scandalous tales I’d heard of Dite’s exploits. I just needed to satisfy her—the thought made my stomach sour. I was scared shitless and felt like I had my first time. I loathed myself for offering my body in this way, but how else could I save my brother and my realm? I could see no other options. I could not fail. Damn my soul to Hades.

  I blew out a breath, trying to calm my racing heart. Dite looked over and winked as we continued down the hall behind the steward.

  It had about killed me to see Ali suffer. It was why I’d blocked our bond. I didn’t want her to have to experience any more of this sordid thing than she had to. I’d come unhinged when she and Kennan had shared a kiss. How had I even considered doing this? I was showing myself to be the wretch I truly was. I would understand if Ali couldn’t forgive me. She’d be right not to. I was betraying us.

  We reached a guest bedroom that looked much like Ali’s except without a large window. There was only one very large… oversize even… bed swathed in a purple covering that stood against the far wall. A wardrobe and dressing table with mirror were the balance of the room’s furnishings.

  The wooden door snit shut behind the steward as he left. We were completely alone, the goddess of love and me. My heart pounded. I prayed she didn't notice.

  She turned, reached her hand up, and ran a finger down my jaw. “You have a strong jawline. I like that about a man.”

  I swallowed hard. I was sure she saw my throat bob.

  She strode for the bed and sat down, then patted the space beside her. The fabric of her skirt fell away and exposed her bare thigh—the bow of the side laces hung down and begged me to loosen it.

  My breath hitched, and I swallowed down my disgust. I could play her game. I could. I had to. Kennan and my realm were on the line. I took three steps toward her, but she held up a hand. “I've changed my mind. I want to appreciate you first. Remove your shirt.”

  Despite my distaste, I had to make a convincing show of it or she’d never help. I took my time unbuttoning each and every fastener as slowly and seductively as I could. I ruffled my wings a few times for good measure. Sand people and their damn wings, good grief.

  How I detested this, how could I do it to “us”? My mind grasped at straws. Ali had pretended I was Kennan when they’d kissed; what if I pretend Dite was Ali? It was the only way, so I forced my mind to imagine I was in this room with my beloved.

  “Ummm...” The sound evoked my base male nature and sensations tingled in my groin as I slipped off one sleeve, then the other, and pulled it up and over my shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. I bore my chest to her. I’d soon be baring more. All. Butterflies launched in my stomach as reason fought fantasy. But I wrangled it down. I would make love to Ali.

  “Red,” she said, unaware of my struggle. “The transition let you keep it. Such a strong male. I love that your ink reveals passion.”

  “You know about our tattoos?” Her comment had caught me off guard. I’d expected her to dispense with conversation and head for the sheets.

  “I know many things about humans. I get around.” Her smile turned teasing.

  She did? Was she saying she’d spent time in Wake? I didn’t think the gods could, not without becoming mortal. Did she directly involve herself in human relationships? These and more questions swirled, but I forced my mind to refocus.

  “Tell me about your tattoo.” Her voice turned dulcet.

  “My twin designed it,” I began, forcing my voice to remain even. I told her of Kennan’s love of art and about how he was under Ambien’s control. I hadn’t expected to, but I felt compelled to tell her how powerless I felt to free him.

  She only hummed, then motioned for me to turn. Her request was much as I'd done with Ali to appreciate all of her in her shift at Madame Catherine's. I’d been enraptured by Ali in that garment and couldn’t get enough of her. Was Dite feeling the same toward me? I forced myself to tamp down on my skin crawling.

  I turned until she told me to stop. My back was toward her.

  “Tell me about your scars,” she said.

  Another unexpected question. They, too, had survived the transition to Dream, much as Ali’s bruises when she’d arrived in Wake. Why would Dite ask about them? I had no idea, so I answered truthfully. “I received them from my father.” I recounted the punishments I'd endured after I'd stopped him from touching Rasa. My heart picked up speed throughout the telling. I’d become a master of burying the pain and hurt and had always leashed my bitterness. It was undoubtedly part of what had frozen my heart, but I’d never had any way to release it, not that wouldn’t hurt those I loved.

  I didn’t know what came over me, but a presence, like a blanket, fell on me. I couldn’t see it, but I felt its weight. It loosened my tongue like too much drink and compelled me to speak. But to her? A goddess? I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.
My pain, my past, was a monster too awful to breathe life into, which was what speaking would do. I clenched my fist and fought it, but the feeling persisted, even intensified. I felt her eyes roam across my back—prey before the predator.

  “What are you doing to me?” I ground out, realizing the only possible source. I drew my fist to my head.

  “Tell me.” Sultry, tantalizing. “Everything.”

  “You can’t want that.” I had joined with my pain. I was it and it was me. We were one, inseparable.

  “Look at me.” Delicious, luscious.

  My breath hitched. She couldn’t. She didn’t. I couldn’t.

  “Turn and face me. Now.” Venom had entered her tone.

  How could I do this? My legs had turned to rubber under the struggle, but I forced myself to turn. Fists still clenched, I pulled my shoulders back and raised my chin.

  “There’s a good warrior, but your strong exterior can’t hide you this time.” There was no harshness now, only pleasantness, and it compelled me to listen. To do.

  “I… I…,” I stammered.

  “Look into my eyes.”

  I drew my gaze up until our eyes met. My stomach twisted, and it was all I could do to stand firm as she seemingly looked into my very soul.

  “Tell me.” Her tone turned icy. It was a command, and my training kicked in.

  I didn’t hold back. I couldn’t. Words flowed with abandon, emotion on their backs. All cares of what she might think of me fled. I cursed. I raged. I lashed out, even at her for doing this to me—making me confront my past, my pain, for giving me no choice. I poured it all out.

  And fell to the floor in a pitiful, wretched, weeping heap.

  My chest heaved. Exhaustion threatened to overwhelm me. It was too much. I curled up. That quickly, she’d broken me.

  She waited several heartbeats before asking, “Is this living? Is there life here? You cling to it as if there is.”

  I couldn’t look at her. I was a mess.

  “Answer me.”

  I pulled my hands from my face. “No.” I’d known it, but still…

  “Is this what you want to feel every sun for the rest of your life?”